It’s been 6 years this month since l was a naive little entrepreneur with a HUGE vision to open an indoor cycling studio in Bondi Beach. It has been the most defining and changing experience of my life. You run on excitement and adrenaline in the first year and if you are lucky to survive your own business beyond that then the real lessons begin to kick in.
For me the business development side was easier. By far not easy but definitely easier. You have so many people you can turn to for support and guidance and advice. None specific to what l was doing but business is business and basic principles apply.
The hardest part of the journey has been the personal development. That hits you in the face pretty early. You are confronted with so many things that you need to deal with when you go out on your own. It begins to surface sides of your personality, your thoughts and your emotions that you cannot run from. Suddenly there is no manger, no boss, no other departments, no one to hide behind or turn to that will help you make decisions. Its just you. And you have to own everything.
There have been two major defining moments of change for me. About 18 months into Bondi l lost my dog of 12 years. Its hard at any time in your life to experience loss. But add that to physical, financial and emotion burn out and its a landslide. l heard that reference to rock bottom recently on a podcast and it resonated so deeply for me when l heard it. l could relate. Landslide is the ultimate description for what that feels like when you go through it in your life. Rock Bottom. You are in a state of crisis. Everything feels like its slipping away from your life and you have no control. The first time l went through it l didnt have the insight or the tools to know how to manage it. Nothing l wasnt already familiar with though, thats standard as an entrepreneur. But with the support of family and friends l got through it. As much as l love them though it was me who pulled me through. Its can only really ever be you.
When you come through crisis some amazing things begin to happen. We transform. But in order to transform we need to sit still in the pain of the crisis because in the pain is where we realise we are alone. Its a pain that the love of family and friends cannot feel or change for us or even take away. Its only when we allow ourselves to really feel this lonliness that we discover everything we need to know to become the people we are meant to be.
When our transformation begins to unfold we realise what we held onto during the landslide. The things that were so true to us that they could not be taken away. Love and Passion. Belief and Hope. You also discover strength. In the depth of our fears we have two choices. To stand still and find strength or run and escape and find weakness. We have a choice. What lve learnt is running never gives us relief its brings more suffering. Standing still and facing fear brings us strength and lessons. We need to face it until we’ve learnt what its been sent to teach us.
The second defining moment of change for me has been over the past 18 months. The saying be careful what you wish for couldn’t have been more applicable to me at the end of my lease term at Bondi. l was tired and was struggling taking on too much and l wanted out. It was the easy option. Weakness runs. As much as l learnt to develop over the 4 years l hadn’t learnt the most important lessons l needed to by that point yet. l was living most days in suffering. Attached to outcomes and fears. l wasnt present and l was still vibrating at a super sonic level with no clear vision of intension and unable to manifest the life and business l wanted. l wasnt aware of how to become the best version of me.
After moving out of Bondi l took a break. l new things needed to change l just didnt know what or how. l just knew l wanted normal for a while. The biggest lesson l had learnt up to that point was just that. l wasnt normal. l didnt think, react or behave remotely close to anything that resembles normal. But l wanted to see if l could experience normal.
In order to realise the things we do want, we first need to experience the things we don’t. l took a job. 9-5, pay check, broad group of people. The experience, a whole other blog which l will write. The outcome. Was like trying to shove a square peg in a round hole. It was never going to work. But what did work was it became clear to me what my personal legend was, my purpose and the sacrifices l thought ld made up to that point did not come close to the sacrifices l was making to earn that pay check. In fact up to the point l took the job l hadnt sacrificed a thing. l had invested.
The last 3 months have been probably the most defining leap in growth of my life. The past 6 years an entire transformation of which l have no doubt will continue because we are always learning. When l left the job it took me a while to connect with anyone that was tied to it. They didnt get me. In order to fit into their world l needed to change all the things that equip me to survive mine. It was still a very hard decision to walk away from security when you’ve been through so much on your own in the past but l knew l was different and things were different and l was equipped with new tools and more importantly the things that no one could take away from me. And people noticed, in my classes and in my life. Something big had shifted.
VC in the CBD is not only a new start. Its a new program. After travelling l realised how outdated indoor cycling was in this country and we needed to change it. Not just that though, l had changed. When you face fear and you embrace the lessons there to be taught you become so connected and aware you cant help but want to pay it forward. Ive learnt the hard way that you cant rescue people but you can inspire them. My method of teaching has evolved as l have and now we inspire, motivate and allow you to escape in order to achieve results. We find positivity and empowerment has an enormous impact on breaking the Vicious Cycle we find ourselves stuck in with negative thoughts, fears and emotions and we are seeing it in our classes and hearing it from our riders.
We’ve created the ultimate mindbody experience from our own experience and now we get to share it and spread it to you and for that l am truly blessed, eternally grateful and bloody proud of all things Vicious.